merylisk:

hlwim:

ugh how the fuck do you cover letter

Greetings, Exalted One. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo.

I know that you are powerful, mighty Jabba, and that your anger with Solo must be equally powerful. I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo’s life.

With your wisdom, I’m sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial and enable us to avoid any unpleasant confrontation.

As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: these two droids. Both are hardworking and will serve you well.

fishnbanjos:

brainstatic:

Ben Carson is such a great example of how the concept of raw intelligence doesn’t exist, and that people can have wildly varying types of intelligence. This man is the best brain surgeon in America. Possibly the world. He invented a new way to treat seizures. He separated conjoined twins in a surgery that everyone else said was impossible. And he thinks going to prison makes you gay. He thinks the pyramids were grain silos built by the biblical Joseph.

So maybe you suck at something because in one area you’re Ben Carson The Politician but in another area you might be Ben Carson The Neurosurgeon.

This is the most complimentary yet simultaneously insulting thing ever. Thank you, OP (not even joking).